Living with Big Daddy
by akatsukimember224
Summary: Here we have Osmosis Jones a little cell in the body of Frank. After Frank got his life back in order after the big health scare, Ozzys job was far from over. Watch as Ozzy makes the most of new living conditions :)
1. Chapter 1

"JONES!" Chief yelled. "Yo wassup cheif! Pardon the mess yo I got erry thing under contol." Ozzy said swaggering into his office. "Jones, we have a assignment for you." "You just say the word and im there! What is it? Killer indigestion? Poison Ivy? a cavity?" "Actually, it's some dormant cramps in the right arm. Frank will need that arm for his job at the zoo lifting crates and cages. If he gets one cramp he'll mess up and possibly get in trouble." "What?" Ozzy whined, "Cramps? Come one Chief give me the good stuff! I saved Frank from dieing for Franks sake!" "Osmosis, I'm sorry but all the other cases are filled. And your the only one left to do it. Youll be restationed by tomorrow, you can go home early to start packing. Once the cramps have moved on you can come back here." "Tomorrow? Aw Cheif! I don't even know anyone in the arm, I've only been there once to visit Drix." "Good, then your set. Frank is counting on you, you understand?" Ozzy sighed, "Yea, I dig." "Hey Osmosis! What's the new case?" Drix said running up to him. "Cramps in the arm. Pfft, I'm the Germinator! What am I doing fighting cramps?" "Aw Ozzy, it's ok. Besides I live in the arm! We can be moving bud-" "Dont! Say it Drips, All I know is I'm being restationed tomorrow and I gotta go home and pack." "Want any help?" Drip offered. "Naw Drips, I got it. But you can tag along if you want." "It's Drix...with a "x"." "Whatever. *walks out of office* Now I don't want you messin up my ride, I just got her re-painted and fumagated from your rank bubbles." "Dont worry I'll be careful" Drix says while proceeding to gets in, stretching the passenger side as usual. Lazy sighed and flicked on his sunglasses, "We gotta do something about that."

"Hey Drips, mind giving me a hand?" Ozzy said moving things from his home to his car. "Why certainly" Drix says while picking up box with one hand. "Pfft, cold pills." Drix finds an old book. "Hey what's this?" "Hey Hey pal paws off! Its special" he says snatching it from him! "It belonged to my great grand-pappy that fought the measles. It's his old police badges and medals." "Oh, looks like was a really great man." "Yea I guess. Anyway, let's get this show on the road, it's a long way from the stomach to the arm." "Right behind you..moving buddie" ;P Ozzy groans and rolls his eyes, "Ugh, cold pills."

RIGHT ARM, 8PM

*arrives at this HUGE estate, made for restationing people*

"Woo momma! this place is bangin!" Ozzie said looking at the huge house. "It is rather nice." Drix added while carrying stuff inside. "Man this place is HUGE *echoes* _ Just put that stuff anywhere, i probably wont unpack till tomorrow anyway." "Oh look a little packet on the table." Drix said picking it up.

"Dear OSMOSIS JONES,

We are happy to have you restationed in the arm to help with ARM CRAMPS. Everything is taken care of. The body takes care of the rent and other necessities, to ensure you can have everything you need to help for this case. It has 3 bathrooms and 4 bedrooms. And they're may or may not be other roomates in the house. either way we know you'll make the best out of it. Good Luck.

Signed, RFPD [Right Frank Police Department]"

"Hm, looks like all I gotta worry about is food. Welp, thanks Drips I appreciate it." "Uh no problem, I got this for a house warming gift" he takes out a bottle of bile. "Aw Drips you didn't have to get me anything, besides you know im not a big drinker." "Oh I know, just a little celebration gift is all. Well I must be going. I live down the street if you need anything." "Well thanks, you know you're aight cold pill" Ozzy says playfully punches him in the arm. "Yea, buddy!" He playfully punches him in the arm but ends up knocking him across the room. "Oh..uh..sorry." Drip says backing out and leaving. Ozzie rubbed his arm. "Ugh, Frank.. you need to know your own strength big boy, nearly knocked my membrane off, Hm...well it's getting late, better take a shower and hit the sheets." He turns and leaves to find the bathroom. At that moment a mysterious shadow figure moves across the wall back into the shadows. Oozy turns around kind of puzzled. "Hm? I must be seeing things" he hums a tune while turning on the shower. The mysterious figure comes into the light. "Weeellll, what do we have here? An Officer of Franks finest." Thrax says reading the letter. "Him? Living here? They must've forgot I lived here" he burns letter, "Peh, no matter might as well give him a ... warm welcome." He says chuckling evily.

Ozzy was singing in the shower washing is hair. "This isn't so bad, a nice crib., a friend down the block, no rent? I should get restationed more often" Thrax slides into the bathroom, unseen because of the steam. "This cat needs the learn how to close the door" he leans on the sink waiting for Ozzy to get out. " ahh, Nice and clean" Ozzy sighs as he turns off shower, "Now all I need to do is- *Bumps into Thrax* _ Thrax smiled his deadly smile, "Hiiiii baby." Ozzy shreiks like a little girl. Thrax stands there and waits for him to stop yelling! ..."Well if your done pissing yourself." "WHAT THE FRANKS NAME ARE YOU DOING HERE?" Ozzy shouts pointing at him. "Me? I was here first baby." Ozzy continued to scream, "I THOUGHT YOU DIED! HOW'D YOU GET BACK IN!?" "I'll tell you once you make yourself decent." He smirked. Ozzy looked down and saw that hes still naked only a balled up shirt covering his..ozzyness. "Oh spit." "Come," Thrax said swaggering away, "and grab a towel. Don't wanna get messy." Ozzy wraps a towel around himself and follows Thrax into the living room." Now..your wondering why I'm here?" "HELL YEA!" "Weeelll, you see, what you thought was a cup of alcohol? Was really a cup of alcohol. AND IT HURT LIKE HELL. I was sure I was 6 feet under when I saw a FPD helicopter coming towards me." Ozzy stopped him, "Wait wait wait, THEY came back for YOU?" "It's rude to interrupt baby. Anyway, They were taking me back for questioning and possibly the death penality. I convienced them to put me on Viral Watch, and let me stay." Ozzy stopped him again, "Wait you get to stay here? After what you edone? Oh naw naw naw, this is messed up." Thrax rubbed his forehead, "You know any manners? Now Where was I? Oh yea.. I get to stay if i promise to not stir up any spit. Also I can stay incase any other virus come, this trash heap you call a body, will be more immuned to it. To make sure I didnt start trouble they got me cleaned." "Cleaned? Like what? a bath or something?" Thrax sighed and rubbed his eyes, "Baby do I have to knock some sense into you that yo mama didnt? No, not a bath. They got me detoxicated so I cant infect anyone even if I tried." "So you cant burn people alive anymore?" "Yea, my baby still works *flashes claw* I just cant make them bubble up from the inside out. Looky here. See this cup?" He picks up a cup and burns it into a pile of ashes. "Now, give me your arm." "What? oh uh uh, you ain't burning me up now way!" "Jones, trust me. Would I ever put anyone in harms way?" Thrax says with a smile. "Uh YEAH! You nearly torched eerryone like a marshmallow!" "You big baby," he grabs ozzys wrist, "Stay still." He says as he runs the claw along his arm. Ozzy flinched but to his suprise he didnt burn, it was just a REALLY INTENSE PAIN "ACK! Yo man chill out!" "See? you ain't dead yet. It'll just cause pain. Not as much as id like, but it'll do." He threw his arm back. "UGH! THAT FLIPPIN HURT! Man! S'wrong witchu!?" Thrax rolled his eyes, "Anyway. Virus' are supposed to live alone, to avoid temptaions and to keep them seclueded. But I guess they forgot and made you pop a squat here."

"So.. I have to live with a virus?" Ozzy asked. "Come one baby, I ain't all that bad.. yet." "Stop calling me that. Well if were gonna live together we gotta establish some ground rules." "Ground rules? Baby, I can take care of myself. and besides this is my house." "Yea yea what ever. Rule number one. If I'm bringing the honeys home, please hesitate to disturb!" "Honeys huh? Baby, why would I disturb something that wont even happen?" Ozzys face dropped, "Woo! for a fever baring virus, you cold man. you cold. Rule number 2. Thrax rolled his eyes. Ozzy continued, "When I have people over, make yourself not seen or heard kepeesh? I don't wanna get fired over a thick headed virus like you." In a flat tone of voice Thrax said, "Ill keep a note of that. Naw naw, here are my rules." He grabbed Ozzy by the neck and slammed him into the wall will his feet dangling above the ground. "You live on one side of the house, I live on the other. You keep your face out of my face and well get along reeealll nice. The only time well cross paths is to eat, and even then I dont wanna deal with ya. The thermostat? stays where it is. Your too hot? deal with it or strip cause i aint changing it. If I bring someone home you stay in your room unless told otherwise. I'm okay with drinking, but I ain't scraping you off the floor. Got that jones?" Ozzy looked at him wide eyed, scared out of his mind, amazed that he was even that strong to get him off the ground that easily. "Uhh...yea sure what ever you say just put me down!" Thrax dropped him and glared ...then busts out laughing. "HAHAH! Jones you really are a baby, I'm just joking around. You're too uptight!" He laughed playfully punching him in the arm unaware of his own strength knocks him into the couch. "Really? You were just joking?" He asked getting up rubbing his shoulder. Thrax suddenly stopped laughing, "No. You stopped me from my record, why would I wanna be buddy buddy with you? But I'll tolerate you, seeing as you'll be staying here." Ozzy rolled his eyes, "Anywho, I'm going food shopping tomorrow. You can come if you want I don't have to go to the RFPD till monday, I dont know what virsuses eat." "We eat cells." He said with a straight face. Ozzy made a face. Again Thrax burst into laughter, "You can't take a joke baby, we dont eat cells...much. Sure I'll tag along for a laugh. Mmm, Well baby it's getting late" he looks at the clock and its 1:22am. "Best be heading off to bed." Naw Im my own man, I'll go to bed when I wanna." Thrax flashed his claw, "Look baby, tomorrow will be a long day. youre gonna need it. Take any room you want, but the one on the end there is mine and mine only. Now...go to bed." "YOU look im 25 years old I can go to bed when I feel like it." He scoffs, "Your so difficult." He mutters as he turns and walks away. "And uh.. baby? Your towel fell." "Hm? " he looks down, "AHHHH! why didn't you tell me!?" Ozzy screamed. "I saw it ain't my porogitive." He chuckles. "You were looking? Aw spit, you crazy man.. I wouldn't be suprised if you were gay or something." "Right. Gay. Get up at 9, the nearest food store is a hour away" Thrax turns and walks to his room. Ozzy groaned and trudged to his room, "All this for some cramps. Gotta live with a loony fruity stuck up bipolar ticking time bomb of death, just what I needed." Lazy entered his room and saw a full sized bed with 2 blankets folded up at the end of the bed with 2 pillows. "Hopefully things get better tomorrow." Ozzy yawned and finally went to sleep.


	2. Living with Big Daddy Chapter 2

Ozzy is knocked out asleep when he hears some weird noises. "Huh? Who's making all this racket!" He gets out of bed. "Whats all these noises? Cant they see im trying to get some shut eye here?" He stumbles through the hallway trying to find a bathroom. walks into what he thinks is a bathroom. " Man what time is it? AHHHHH!" " AHHHHH! JONES WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOIN IN MY ROOM!" "YOURE room, I thought this was a bath- AHHH! DUDE DUDE MY BAD, I WASNT PAYING ATTENTION AND...woah." He eyeballs Thrax for a moment. "Is this what you always do 6 in the mornin?" Thrax was standing there in his boxers and a tank top, lifting weights and with jazz music in the backgroud. "You walked in here, i should be asking you the same thing." " no way! You lift weights?" "How else would i be able to kick your ass? by eating McFranks all day? What are you doing here anyway?" Ozzy shuffled a bit feeling a bit nervous. "Well i heard noises and i got up to see what it was. And you wouldnt be kicking no bodies ass, if anything id kick yours." Thrax rolled his eyes am scoffed, "I wouldnt bet on it. Why are you still here?" "Well Since im up, might as well stay up." He says as he observes the weights and whatnot. Thrax sighed, "Can i help you Jones?" "Just looking, i had no idea that-" "That i could lift this much? You have alot to learn about viruses baby. What you thought i was a weakling?" "No, No, just didnt think youd be into being you know...fit." Thrax rolled his eyes and picks up a wieght and starts curling. Ozzy stood there wide eyed, he always thought he himself was strong but seeing Thrax lift 2 times his body weight put a shock in him. "Are you just gonna stand there and oggle or are gonna leave" Thrax asked him. "Pfft maan whatever. i just thought i should you know stay here and work out with you. you know get to know you better. All i know is you almost killed everyone." "fine. Catch." He hurled a weight at Ozzy. Ozzy caught it but fell to the ground. "Ugh! got anything lighter than a ton?" Thrax shook his head, "Weak immunity cell. figures. Here." He hands him a lighter one but was still a little heavy. "Hey i aint weak, i just dont press 230 daily. Thanks" he sat in a chair Thrax kept in his room and started to lift. "Yea what ever." He mumbled as he continued to lift in silence. "...so uh.. is that jazz?" Ozzy asked, trying to break the tension. "Whats it sound like?" "Oh i was just asking. You really seem to like it." "I guess." Thrax said still remaining silent.

Ozzy began to feel awkward again. "So..uh..why did you decide to stay?" "Well, it was that, death, or find another body to take down. Being as i was in a hospital full of health freaks with no deadly claw i decided to stay here. At least they gave me back my chain." "Oh yea that hypo- hippo- happ-" "Hypothalmus." "Right. Whats that for anyway?" "I kept Hypothalmus beads in there. Kept score." "I don't see why you keep it, cant use it anymore." Thrax stopped lifting and stared at Ozzy. "You see this? This little DNA bead comes from a little girl in Riverside California? Didnt like to wash her hands. Took me 3 whole weeks. And this one, This one lady in Detroit Motown? 6 days flat. Then theres this old guy in Philly, I killed him in 72 hours. Yeaaa i was getting stronger as i went along baby but i never set the record. Until Frank that is. I was gonna take in down in 48 hours, get my OWN chapter in the medical books. Till you came along." He started to lift again. Ozzy sat there kind of shocked. That's grins,"Close your mouth baby, youll catch flies." "Oh and why in all Frank do you insist on calling everone "baby" even he-cells!" "I dont know.. just kind of grown on me. Been saying it as long as i could remember. *chuckles a bit* I remember when i first started saying it, my pappy knocked me against my head for sayin to to my momma. She was asking me and my brothers what i wanted for dinner and i said," *fakes a high squeaky voice* "Porkchops baby! man my pappy gave me such a wallop. Then once when I was talking to my brother about "girls", *fakes high voice again* This girl in my math class was staring me down, and i started hittin her up baby! Man my brother thought i was batting for the other team. Pfft, look at me, talking to you like i known you my whole life." "Sounds like you had a cool family" "Nah, Mom and Pops split when i was 17, of course by then i was already grown so it didnt affect me much. But theyre still tight. Eventually worked things out."

Ozzy took in what he said. "17 huh? Wait how old are you?" "What is it to you? Older than you thats all you need to know." "Older? hahahah! you old fart!" "Yea yea, laugh it up. Not by much." Ozzy started laughing more, "HAHAHA! You old coot! Old timer! I beat a old man!" Thrax threw a dumbbell on Ozzy. "Older, but wiser baby. Im taking a shower. Get out." "Why? Youre all wrinkly?! HAHAHA!" He gets up holding his sides walking out of the room and starts walking to his own bathroom. "Woo boy..Thrax the big bad virus is a shrively old brute. I guess ill shower too, its almost 9. Oops left my phone in grandpas room. Hey gramps I left my-"

Since Thrax basically lived by himself, he thought why need a shower curtian? Mistake. As Ozzy was looking for his phone he happend to look up at the wroooong time. There Thrax was, just washing his hair, not a care in the world. Little did he know, the young cell could see EVERYTHING.

Ozzy wanted to scream but nothing would come out! He just stood there wide eyed as the 6'7 virus ran his claws through his purple dread locks. Muscles even more pronounced than normal! He wouldnt dare look any lower, he just couldnt! he whispered, "Holy...spit." the bathroom lights made everything 10 times worse, He looked at his own arms and chest in disgust.. Thrax being a virus he could feel and sense everything, he knew something wasnt right, but he didnt think much of it. he continued to rake his claws through his hair. Ozzy grabbed his phone and high tailed it out of there, knocking over a chair in the process. Thrax heard a noise and cracked his eyes open and he looked to his left then his right. "Joooooonessssss -_- " he grabbed a towel and wrapped it around hiself and charged into his room only to find a turned over chair. Thrax growled, "Jonesssssss" as he narrowed his eyes and went to his dresser drawer, got out some boxers and proceeded to his closet to get out his black pants. Ozzy was sprinting down the hallway, "Holy spit! holy spit! holy spit!" He suddenly hit something solid. "OOMF" Thrax looked down at him. "Jones" "Hey uh Thrax! Fancy seeing you here, i was just going to my room, and thats where i am, im not even here!" "I know you were there. Im not sure where but you were there." He grabbed Ozzy by the collar of his night shirt and observed Ozzys movements and gestures, he growled, "I dont know what youve done, I dont know what you saw; but i WILL find out." He dropped him and walked away. "oomf! oh spit what have i done." He walks into his room and gets in the shower.

"mmph, comin in here knocking over chair doing Joseph knows what, puh..cells these days" he finishes getting dressed and sat in the living room to wait. ~come on Osmosis, get a grip. Its not like you havent seen other guys; after all the shower in gym cla- noo, i wimped out of that. The showers and lockers at the police depart- no there were at least stalls. GET A GRIP, its JUST a VIRUS. ~ he gets out and puts on clothes. "Aight all set, ready Thrax?" He asked, avoiding eye contact. "Ive been waiting for a hour." He grabs his trench coat and strutted out the door, "Time to blow the scene... Uh Jones?" "What?" "How am i supposed to fit in this microscopic bug you call a ride?" "I dont know, just squeeze in, come on we got time to keep. If Drips can fit you can." Thrax bends over to step into the car. struggles a bit, decides to take matters into his own hands and dislocates both shoulders foward and gets in the car. Ozzy watched him, "Um,...doesnt that hurt?" "Just drive." Thrax commanded. Ozzy drove all the way to the supermarket occasionally glancing at Thrax seeing if he would do something. Ozzy got out and stretched, "Woo what a drive!" Thrax got out, slowly stood up and cracked his shoulders back into place? "Mmm, lets roll." He said as he flicked on his sunglasses, getting one last crick out of his neck. "Ugh, that sounds naysteh! Aight, lets see, to make things faster, you take a cart and i take a cart, and meet here in 20 minutes got it?" "Whatever baby" he just strolled away. Ozzy mimicked Thrax, "Whatever baby, peh! Viruses. Alright, Bread, meat, cheese, ohh! Cavity chips my favorite! Aight all done. Yo Thrax? Thrax?" "Why ya yelling, chill out." "Wha- Woa...why do you have all that?" Ozzy said eyeballing Thrax's cart full of food, pasta, sandwhich items, snacks, just outragous!. "What? a big boys gotta eat." Thrax smiled. Ozzy mumbled, "Yea a big idiot." "What was that baby?" Thrax shot him a look. "Nothing. Lets go." They checked out at the counter, and bagged all their things. Thrax carried everything by himself, not phased one bit. "Need any help?" Thrax just growled at him. "I guess not." Ozzy and Thrax packed all the things into the trunk. Thrax dislocated his shoulders again to fit into the passenger seat. Ozzy winced at him, "I wish you didnt do that" " And I wish you'd shut up." Ozzy started the car, "aight Aight, Chill out."

When they arrived they unpacked the food and sat in the living room. Ozzy stretched out on the couch, "woo! Long day." "It's only noon" Thrax commented. Ozzy rubbed his eyes and groaned, " I'm so beat" "Yea, yea. Whine whine whine. I thought the big bad germinator could handle a little shopping" he laid back on the couch. "I aint whining here, hey speaking of which why did you get so much food?" Thrax eyeballed him, "Your what, 5'6, 130 pounds give or take? You couldnt stomach half of it. You dont eat, you die, gotta keep my metabolism up. You know, the bigger you are the more food you need." "Im not that short, and i didnt graduate from school to keep getting schooled by a virus. And another thing, whats with you? Do you have any friends? Hobbies? Seems like all you do is sit in here like a loner." Thrax rolled his eyes, "I need a drink." He got up towards the kitchen! "I do have friends, they actually come over quite often. We watch the game, hang out, all that." "You? Sports? HAHAHAH! thats rich! HAHAHAHAHA! Woo boy" "Yes i watch sports. What, a deadly virus cant watch kidney-stone ball?" "Yes the big bad virus sits in here with his trench coat on, beer in one hand chips in the other and cheers on the Left Lung Cubs! HAHAHAH!" Thrax sat there straight faced, "I actually go for the Brain Stem Beavers..." Ozzy just laughed harder, "HAHAHA! THRAX, THRAX...WHAT EVER YOUR LAST NAME IS LIKES SPORTS! WOOO BABY THATS HILARIOUS!" "Yea yea, keep laughin. you aint gonna be laughin when the Beavers beat the Cubs next play offs" "Oh please, the Cubs can beat the Beavers with one membrane stem tied behind their back." We can bet on that. Want anything?" "Really its only 2 and your drinking?" "I can handle my booze, cant you? Here, catch." Thrax tossed a bile bottle at him. "Can you stop throwing stuff at me? Geez. Hm..Top Bile. Whered you get the money for this? You dont work" "The County gives me money to get the things i need, the only thing they pay for is rent and other facilities. So i decide hey why not slurge." "Why not.." He opened the bottle. "You know im not a big drinker." That's took a huge gulp, "Get over it." Ozzy took a sniff and made a face. hes never had something this..upscale. Hes only used to middle classed, staff drainage, or left overs from Franks last beer run with Uncle Bob. "Bottoms up then" he took a sip! "UGH!" He exclaimed, his eyes started to water. "this is strong! how do you stomach this mess!" "Im a virus baby, thats why." Ozzy coughed some, "Hm..not bad, not bad."

30 Minutes Later

"Loook..i dont care what anyone sayz..Kidney Rock is the best shinger of all MAN KIND!" Ozzy slurred. "J-joness..Your drunk...your too drunk..gimme the bottle.." He reaches out to take the bottle but misses falling on the floor. "N-n-no.. your too drunk.. Lookk at ya, your falling all ova the place" "No! Im f-f-fine, im fine, im El Muerto Rojo i dont need youuuuu." "yo, stop speakin..foriegn chinese, I-i dont know nuthin" he fell over the edge of the couch, his shirt flying over his head. "Its not chinese you dumb ass its..woa..why is your skin blue?" Thrax pokes at it with one of his claws and chuckled. "It's squishy" :3 "Hey hey! hands off!" "And if i dont?" He picked Ozzy up by the ankle bringing him up to eye level with him. "Whatta ya gunna do Jones?" "Woa, its fun bein at this height! Lemme go you ass!" "woa woa baby..wait hold on..." He paused then burped in his face. "Ewww gross!" Ozzy screamed wiggling free and lands on his face. "HAHAHAHAHA i lannded on my face" Thrax shook his head, "you light weight. You cant be as strong and handsome as meeeee~" "Oh please, im a gaffilion times better than you! Lets go! Arm wrestle! SCO! I AM ZE GERMINATOR." "Sounds like a gas baby, bring it on!" Ozzy started the countdown, "1.." Thrax proceeded, "Dos..." "3!" Ozzy tried his hardest to move thrax's arm, but it didn't budge. Thrax just laughed at him. "Hey your fly is down! Ozzy pointed out trying to push his arm down by trying to distract him. "Why ya lookin?" He slammed ozzys arm down hard. "Whose the Bad Booty Shakin Pickanosis now?" "Rematch! Re-*hiccup*MATCH! Grrr!" Ozzy attempts to rip his shirt likt the Hulk just like the one he saw Frank was watching one day, but only stretches the collar a little. Thrax shook his head, "M-m, you had enough" he hauled Ozzy over his shoulder. "Were gonna play another game." " AYE LEMME GO! I CAN WALK BY MY ALL BY MYSLEF!" Thrax pinned Ozzy to the bed. "Say it" "aye aye! let go i cant breath!" "I'll let you go when you say it!" "What is wrong with you? you like seeing cells in pain?" Thrax rolled his eyes sarcastically, "Oh yea i get totally high from it, Now say it!" "Say What?" "Say Big Daddy Thrax is the MOST deadliest virus in the world!" Ozzy struggles to get up. "NEVUR" Thrax pinned Ozzys arms behind His back, "Saaaay it, and ill let you go baby" "Big Daddy FART is the LEAST deadliest virus and the world and like BUNNIES!" Thrax snarls and throws him against the wall. "Wrong choice baby," he flares up his claw. Ozzy sobers up reaaal quickly and crawls against the corner, "N-n-n-now wait a minute, i was kidding man! loosen up!" "They mightve gotten rid of my poison but i can turn you inside out" he walks towards him grinning evily. "Wait no i- wait...turn me inside out? Bro i do not roll that way." "Huh?" He thought about and realized what he said. "naw naw naw baby thats not what i meant i mean-" "I knew it! Thats why you call everyone "baby" You are a-" Thrax held his claw up the Ozzy's neck. "I do NOT do that. One more peep about it and well both be dead. Got it Jones?" "Geez Geez relax, i was kidding." He pushed Thrax's claw away. "yo, im heading in." Thrax grabbed Ozzy by the arm, "Ah ah ah, not till you say it. well stay here all night if we have to." He sat on Ozzy, not putting all his weight on him, just enough so he couldnt move. "Lemme go! I gotta go to work in 4 hours!" "Your call." He pulls out a calus and starts filing his claws and starts humming "Fever" "Aw come on! I gotta gooooo!" Ozzy pleaded. "Sorry baby but you know what you have to do." "No way in BOB am i saying it" "well i guess we gotta sit here all night."

2 hours passed

"You give up?" Thrax murmured yawning occasionally. Ozzy was half asleep. "nneverrrrrrrrrr." "Hmph, i dont gotta get up in a couple of hours. Im comfortable riiiiiight here." He yawned. "Ill never say it, never..ne*yawn*ver...mmm" Thrax thought to himself, ~i guess ill just..rest my eyes for 2 seconds~ ZzzzZzzz...NO! mmm, i am getting tired. Baby do you give?...Jones?..Jones!" He slapped Ozzys face. Ozzy jumped awake, "NO LEAH GIRL! Heeeeyyyy get offa me." Thrax was almost asleep, "ZzzzzzzZzzzzZzzzz...never! Not till you say it."

6AM

Thraxs speech was slurred, "saaaaaaaayyyyyyy iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit"

Ozzy whined incoherently, "nooooooooooooooooooo.. HEY WAIT WAIT TIME IS IT?" He cracks his eyes open and looks at the clock. "HOLY SPIT! IM LATE! IM LATE!" He pushed Thrax off of him and sprints to his room. "Hey woa woa were you going?" "I gotta go to work!" He says running down the stairs one leg in his pants, tooth brush in his mouth, razor in his hand shaving his stubble and combing his hair. Thrax got up and went to his room to sleep "hehehehe have fun." Ozzy hopped in the car, "Come on Bessie!" He hollered As he zoomed out of the drive way, hitting some trash cans. "Finally" "Ah, Osmosis Jones. 10 minutes late I see." The Chief of Right Frank Police Department said. "Oh gosh im so sorry! traffic and the room mates and the say it! I couldn't get any sleep!" "Hey Hey, its okay, things happen. Do it again and im deporting you to the intestines." Ozzy gulped. "Hey, hey kidding Officer Jones, Kidding." "Just call me Ozzy."

Cheif: Well.. 'Ozzy', heres what we have. Last time we saw the cramps aka "the Locks", the were in the shoulder, now we dont know their where abouts, but were counting on you to put them into custody. Here. *gives Ozzy a folder* Read up on this and stop them. In the mean time, report here every other day to see what youve found. Are you familiar with the cop, Drixenol?" "Drips? Aw yeah! we stopped that killer virus together; saved everyone." "well, hell be working on the case aswell to give you help. Good Luck" "Like old times huh? aight." "So, hows thenews location? any room mates or anything" the chief asked. Ozzy started to get a little nervous. "...um..no no, just me. hehe" he rubbed his neck nervously. "Well good to see your settling in well. Hey Jones? Whats that on your ar-" Ozzy looked down and saga mark where Thrax demonstrated his powers on him. "Oh oh! umm.. just a little snag moving in, its fine really." "Well, good. See you Wednesday Jones. We have faith in you" "Well Thanks, ill get right on it."he walked out, but he waited till he was behind the doors till he just slid down the door and groaned. He rubbed his goatee, "This is gonna be along case." Drix bubbles beside him, "Hey Jones! Jones!" "Huh? oh hey Drips." "You hear? were gonna be partners again just like old times! Oh i remember the time at the Zit and-" "Drips...DRIX. chill cold pill, We got this. We handled Thrax, we can handle some small cramps." Drix looked him over. "Hm...Jones you look awful, whats up?" "Hm? oh, just didnt sleep well last night, was up all night with Thraa~If Drix finds out im living with the virus that almost took down Frank, i might loose my job!~-aaaaaachooo! Man, got a tickle in my nose." "Oh my, are you ok?" "Yea yea, probably just a little dust. Come on, we got some cramps to stop!" "Well ok, your place or mine? But i dont think we can go to mine. I have to get it fumagated. you know, the bubbles." Ozzy blurted out, "YOURS!" "Um...fumagation?" "We can hold our breath, come on!" He shoved Drix in the car, "GO GO GO" "WOA!" Ozzy floored it towards Drix's house. "Osmosis i dont think this is a good idea!" "Well be fine! Live a little!" "I think im gonna be ill..." "Oh uh uh, not my baby!" He slammed on the breaks. "Where here!" Drix gets out the car dizzy and disoriented! "Ozzy..i told you it wasnt a good idea." "What the Frank is up with yo house man?" Drix's house was covered in a big white sheet, and bio hazard guys all around. "Looks like its your place." Drix said looking at his house. "Aw spit.. fine fine just hold on i gotta make a call." He dails Thrax's number, "Hello?" "Yo" "Look a partner of mine is coming over and-" "Weeellll, when were you gonna tell me you old sheep" "No no no! Look its not funny! You gotta get out of there yo!" "Why baby?" "Look just go out somewhere, i aint losing my job over you now go!" "Everything alright Jones?" Drix asked. "Yea Yea Drix! Just my mother!" Thrax interrupted, "Look i aint goin no where" and hung up the phone. "AYE! Ugh spit..fine." Ozzy drove reluctantly to his home. Thrax hears the door handle jiggling and waits for the show to begin. "You wait out here, Ozzy ordered, "and ill go...uh..yea." He slammed the door. "Thrax! what the hell are you doing! Get out!" "I live here too baby" "If Drix even catches a whiff of you, hell freak and prolly do something crazy! "Pfft, he just all sugar and no punch." "Just go! just this once! ill do anything, ill do your chores all week, ill..ill...Ill.. say it. Just Gooooo!" He grabs Thrax's arm to get him to leave. "Fine, fine. but you owe me." He goes in his room and shuts the door. Ozzy sighed with relief. "Phew...Ok, Drips?" "It's Drix..with an "x"" "Whatever, so the cramps or "The Lock" was last seen at the shoulder and..."

Thrax started getting bored, so he turned on the tv but couldn't find anything to watch. "getting kinda hungry." He gets up towards the kitchen. "Hmm...these immunity cells dont know anything about viruses. We always have a back up infection hehehehe" he burns a hole through the door. Ozzy was explaining the plans and charts to Drix. "So now all we gotta do is build a border along the communitites to keep the houses safe then corner them" "Sounds like a good plan" Drix added until he heard a noise. "Hey Jones, what was that?" "What was what?" "That noise..sounded like..sizzling almost" Ozzy mumbles, "Thraaaaax..Um theyre rats!" "Rats?" "Yea rats! we gotta hide!" "Hide? Really?" "Did i stutter? come on! hide in here!" He shoves Drix in the hall closet. "You sure well be safe in here?" Drix asked. "Yea yea, rats cant...see through doors?" "Seems legit..now what do we do?" Ozzy got an idea. "Umm...Ill go out and uhh..fight them" "Fight the rats?" "Yea! You stay in here!" He peeks out of the closet and steps out. "But Ozzy wait!" Ozzy already slammed the door. Ozzy walked out to see Thrax making sandwiches."Thrax...what ever your last name is, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" "Well, look who came out of the closet? Making sandwhiches, you want one?" "NO i dont want one! Get out! Im working, i thought we established ground rules!" "No baby, I established ground rules" he finished making a 3rd sandwhich. "Just leaaaave! If Drix finds out ill-" Thrax interrupted him, "Welllll the old cold pill is out to play, lets let him in on the fun" he walked towards the hall closet about the burn it. "Fiiiiiiiiire bom bom bom, bom bom bom ow!" "Oh na na na wait a minute no fire!" He stood infront of the door, "I aint loosin my job" "How will you loose your job? No one knew i was living here when they stationed you here so it aint your fault baby." "Ohhhh quit calling me that! You do have a point but, you gotta go. Take what ever food you want, ill do anything!" Drix called out of the closet, "Osmosis? Osmosis? are the rats gone? Its getting late and i gotta get home" "He really aint the most coated pill in the bottle is he?" Thrax commented. Ozzy shoved Thrax to his room, "GOO!" "Fine Fine baby, but remember you owe me." He walked into his room humming a song DNA chain in left hand and 3 sandwhiches in the other. "Phew...Okay Drips the..um rats are gone" Drix peeked out the closet door. "Oh thank Frank, well good working with you Jones. We can get more work done In the office later." "Yea, bye Drips" "Uh its Drix, with a "x", seems like you keep forgetting that" "What ever, see ya." He closed the door and slides down the wall relieved..."THRAX!" Thrax was leaning against the stairs finishing his last sandwhich, "Yes?" "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!" "Wrong with me? Whats wrong with you? Your the one flailing his membrane like he aint got no sense." Ozzy rubbed his goatee, "just move" he shoved pass him to get to his room. "Damn, somebodys touchy" Thrax commented, he retreated to his room. When Ozzy got to his room, he flopped on the bed, "Ugh..virus..He is right, i wouldnt get in trouble..but what if i got in trouble for not telling anyone? Ohhh spit spit spit! Why me?" He thought and thought until he just dozed off.


	3. Living with Big Daddy Chapter 3

"Yo Jones! Get your ass down stairs" Thrax hollered from the kitchen. "What man what?" Ozzy called. "Just get down here!" Ozzy walked downstairs, "what do you want?" "Time for dinner" "Dinner?" "Yea..you aint have dinner before?" "With you?" "Who else? you dont see the Easter Mucus here" "Oh i knew it! I knew you were-" "f you value your life, youd stop there. Were just eating at the same time cause i dont need you down here in the middle of the night tearing up the kitchen" Thrax explained as he got out plates. "What ever, what is it anyway" "Food." "I mean more specific" "Just eat it". Thrax puts some on the plate, "This enough?" "Yea thats fine, thanks I can fix my own food incase you didnt know" Ozzy said taking the plate and sitting down. Thrax took the rest of the food for himself. Ozzy eyed Thrax's plate. "Pig." Thrax eyed Ozzys plate and scoffed, "twig." "Do you really need to eat that much?" "What? You want me to be a scrawny weakling like you?" Ozzy shoved a forkful of food into his mouth, " I ain't weak" " Did yo momma ever tell you not to talk with your mouth full?" Ozzys expression dropped a bit, "well...yea..but.." Thrax notices Ozzys face and puts down his fork. "It was just me and my mom.." Ozzy started, "my dad left for this German cell that transferred after Frank visited that "authentic" German pub..but hey, look at me now? Living in a swank place, and with the love of my life...Leah.." "Leah? You mean that pretty honey that i kidnapped?" "Hey hey dont call her that, and yea.. we got together after you left. But now that i got moved we dont see much anymore.." Thrax finished the last on his plate until he noticed Ozzy staring at him. "Can I help you?" "How do you do that?" "Do what?" "Eat so fast." "Fast? That's how I normally eat" "You eat like a dump truck" "And" you don't get to this height and muscles like these eating like a bird. Now hurry up so I can put this stuff away." Ozzy finished his food, "Why? What's the rush?" Thrax took his plate from him, "I'm not a man that wastes time." Ozzy rolled his eyes, "obviously." He went in the living room to sit. "So difficult.. Thrax commented. He looked at the clock at sees it's around 9 lm. "Hm still kind of early. He takes out his phone and dials a number. "Hello?" "Yo Thrax! Baby! hows it been" the voice answered back. "Hey!, look were going out tonight, but i want you to meet my room mate." "Room mate? Hm, aight im there. see ya later" "Solid" thrax hung up the phone. "Yo Jones?" "What you wanna go out ballroom dancing next?" "You could say that, we going out. but i got some one for you to see" "Oh uh uh, i aint letting anymore viruses in this house!" He grabbed his badge turns his back to him. "Relax, geez why do you need that for?" He hears the doorbell. "Awwww yea" he struts towards the door "Yo!" "Im a cop first and friend second!" Ozzy he called after him.


	4. Living with Big Daddy Chapter 4

Ozzy listened from the couch. "Yo Thrax!" A voice called, doing this handshake thing with Thrax. "Hey, whats up? you ready for tonight?" "Just like old times bro! Now wheres this room mate?" "Over there poutin" he says while going in the kitchen for some some drinks. Ozzy had his back to them. "I ain't pouting" he mumbles. "Aye Yo kid? Whats up?" "I aint a kid" Ozzy huffs. "...So uh..whats your name kid" "Ozzy rolled his eyes, "Osmosis Jones, but everyone calls me Ozzy, or Jones, or just Osmosis. or in idiots case, baaaaybeeeeh" he said trying to imitate Thrax's voice. "Well my name is Rose, one of Thrax's friends. What makes you wanna bunk with this clown?" "Rose?" Ozzy turns around a sees Rose standing there in a black tank top, black pleather pants and combat boots. Hair red as fire, and skin almost as red as Thrax's. He was shocked, all the other germs he saw were fat and lazy. She actually looked...good. "Oh uh..Hi" he reaches out to shake her hand. "Oh nice to meet you uh.."sees Ozzys badge, "Officer Jones." Thrax entered the room with drinks, "So,Rose, whats the haps" With a very thick New Lung accent (the equivalent to a New York accent), she answered, " Aye, you know, a lil o dis, a lil o that. Just chillin" Thrax sipped from his glass, "I dig" "So uh Thrax? Whats with your room mate heh? Thats a immunity cell" "Im aware, he gotta pop a squat here to fight some cramps or what ever" "Aw come on Thrax, drop the act. You aint this uptight. I know your old but loosin up like ya used to" "Him? Loosin up? " Ozzy interrupted,"HAHAHAH! He cant loosin up even if he had both limbs tide to germs and ripped apart!" "Look im still Big Daddy Thrax, and i aint old" "Right cause 7-" Thrax llunges at Rose and covers her mouth, "I aint old..besides those are virus years. If you valued your life youd shut it" "Woa, someones touchy. You mean old goody boy here dont know how old you are?" "If i wanted to tell him, id tell him. Now drop it, before i drop KICK you down the stairs" "Fine fine, geez, still got a temper. yo pass me bile will ya? im parched ova here! So er where are we going?" Ozzy interrupted again, "yea, where ARE we going? and pass me one too" Thrax passed a bile to Rose and HURLS one at Ozzy, "Youll see" "Do you have to throw things?" Ozzy said struggling to get the bottle open. Rose opens it with ease. "Woa" Ozzy said, he never seen a girl this cool before. Most girls are all dainty and girly. She was actually pretty tight. Thrax finished the last of his drink, "Jones? Grab your keys" "What for?" Thrax flicks on his sunglasses. "We going steppin." "Aw YEAH" Rose hooted. "Steppin?" Ozzy asked. "You aint never went steppin officer? Man where have you been?" They walked to Ozzys car. "Well, no i dont do clubs much." "Well come on!" "Lets hit it." Thrax dislocates his shoulders again and gets in the car. Rose looked disgusted, "Does he always do that?" "You dont know the half of it." He starts the engine, screeches the tires and zooms off.

ARRIVES AT "CARPAL TUNNEL"

Ozzy looks up at the place, "Carpal Tunnel?"

Thrax gets out the car all gross like, "What does it look like baby? Lets go" Rose made a face, "Ugh,Thrax, really? Thats just...how do you even do that?" "Ive invaded plenty of bodies before this baby." He walks up to the door, flicks off his sunglasses and gestures his eyes to his claw. The door guy answered, "Come on bud, chill its just a club", slightly spitting in his face. Thrax wipes away the spit, "I really wasnt planning on using it." He reaches out his hand for a "hand shake" and stabs the guy in the stomach. The man doubled over, " ...Right this way mac" Thrax waved, "see yall on the other side kids" "Kids? Ugh move aside" "hey lil man, you aint getting in" the door man said crossing his arms. "Why not man? do i gotta beat the spit outta you too? Cause im a-" Rose stepped up, "Yo yo, offica ill handle this" she ddjusts her shirt so shes showing a piss load of cleavage, "Now, i know you wanna have a peaceful night, so if you just let little ol me in that there club here, itll stay that way." The man looked down at her, "You threatening me doll face?" "if it has to be..oh my! my shoe is untied, hold on a second," she whispers to Ozzy, "when big guys too busy staring at my ass you slip in kay?" Ozzy looked puzzled, "all this over a club?" Rose shoos him away, "JUST GO! Oh dear its realy loose, ill just tie that up real tightly" she bended over to tie her shoe. The door guy looks over her thin frame getting distracted. Ozzy tip toed in. Rose finished tying her shoe, "Now, you wanna let me in?" She batted her eye lashes. "Uhh.. sure honey, why not." "Thanks." She strutted past him," Oh and uh, Id close your mouth before you catch flies."

Ozzy meets up with Rose, "YO! ROSE WHERES THRAX?" "WHAT? I CANT HERE YOU! THE MUSIC IS TOO LOUD!" "WHERES THRAAAAAX?" He makes a gesture like hes gutting someone like Thrax would and ended up knocking into someone spilling their drink, "Oh my bad son" "THRAX? OH UHHHH?" She scanned the crowd for a abnormally tall person, "THERE HE IS! COME ON!" She grabbed Ozzys wrist and leads him to him. Thrax saw them coming, "Weeelll i didnt know yall would get so close. Didnt know you had it in you Jones" he smirks. "What?" He looks at their hands, "AW NAW NAW MAN IT AINT LIKE THAT" "Relax baby, i know." Some random bar guy walked across them to get to some random table across the floor. Thrax stares him down the same way he stared Ozzy down when he came into the Zit. Ozzy looked a bit confused, "Thrax?" Thrax continued staring, "What is it Jones?" "What the hell are you staring at?"

Thrax SN-~ Virus have to liike breed and what not fairly quickly to spread the virus to build it stronger and take down more people and will reproduce with anything and anyone, regaurdless of gender. Thrax on the other hand he didnt need help taking down bodies, he had his claw and he wasnt gonna create spawns just yet OH UH UH. But something unknown, even unknown to me, when a fairly attractive person, even a HE-cell/germ/virus thing walked by he got all...swirly eyed lol~

Thrax continued staring, "What? oh nothing baby" Ozzy mumbled, "i wish you wouldnt call me that. Im pretty sure you were staring at the dude." "Starings rude. and if i was, it certainly wouldnt be at a dude. Geez Jones, get your mind out of the gutter" some random girl approaches Thrax, "Hey tall guy, wanna dance?" Thrax glanced at Ozzy and smirked, leaned over to get eye level with the chick not really letting her get a legit look at his face, "Id love to baby" The girl starts dancing, "you know, you're pretty tall." "Ive been told" Thrax doesn't really dance so he just stood there. "So what's your name?" She asked. Thrax didnt want the whole world knowing his identity cause he just didnt roll that way. "Oh uh, Methane, but everyone just calls me Meth baby" She starts grinding on Thrax, "Meth huh? You seem...familiar" "Im kind of new to the area.." He wraps his hands around her waist. Ozzy glances over at them, "He doesnt dance much does he" "Never saw it a day in my life.." Rose commented. "Puh, figures. Probably has 2 left feet and'll twist a ankle." "Oh yea? Lemme see wad you can do Off-ic-uuur" she says teasingly. "Oh girl! Are you challenging me? LOOK AT NA, WOO!" He started dancing like he did with Drix at the Zit. Rose looked a little put off, "Weeeelll little cell gots moves, check this out kid" she started dancing like...i dont know. ;p "Woow, go Rose, go Rose! Watch out!" He grabbed her hand and starts dancing like idiots together, "Woot woot! woot woot!" "Woo-hoo!" They finished dancing and sat down. "Woo, i dont remeber dancing like that in a long time." Meanwhile back with Thrax, "You know Meth, ever since Frank nearly died, i havent been out much. Ooh and when i find out who did it, i rather get oxidized trying to find that low life self centered arrogant JERK!" The girl said getting a little riled up. "Oh come on baby, he can be that bad" "I dont know if you where here or not, but This guy was awful..I saw him on the jumbo screen once. He was aboooout.. your build..your height.." "Oh really" Thrax said swaying her hips a little trying to distract her cause he knew what she was getting at. "Yea, had skin very similar to yours..voice basically the same. Though ive only hear him say" in a retarded voice, "Careful, im contagious." Thrax decides to play her game, "Like this?" He said it the same way he said it before he killed that cell before. She got shivers down her spine, "You know you have a really nice voice big stuff. If i didnt know any better youd probably pass as a Ebola strain." Thrax stops dancing and grips her hips hard in anger and to keep her from escaping, "care run that by me again baby?" Ozzy tried to impress Rose a little, "And look what i can do" he morphed into the same persona he had at the Zit. At first looked in digust then lightend up a little, "Cool, didnt know cells could do that like voluntairly. Doesnt it hurt?" "Depends..when i split myself in half it stings but nothing too much for Osmosis Jones," he waved his hand to order drinks for him and Rose. "Far out! Can i see?" Ozzy glanced around so they wont attract attention. "Sure but just this once" he proceeded to split himself in half.

"Woa, getting a little tight there, i siad if i didnt know any better you could pass as a Ebola strain." The girl repeated. "Ebola? Let me tell you about Ebola baby." He worked up this viral stuff on his tongue and licks his lips and dips the chick. He said it in his most calmest lowest voice gets about 2 inces away fron her face. "Ebola...is NOTHING..compared to me. Back with Ozzy, he is trying to show off lwhat he can do, "WOA! GRODY! Thats...WICKED GROSS!" Ozzy forms himself back together, "Woo! Havent done that in a while. "When do you even have to?" "Well i did, when i was fighting Thrax on the eyelash..I can do alot of other stuff too but i bet you wouldnt care to know" he takes a sip on his drink. "Really? Test Me." She gave him a teasing glare. "Oh little North side honey think she got game? Aight check this out." He turns into a puddle, goes through a ring that was on Roses finger, twisted his membrane in a double helix ladder. Thrax doesn't want to girl making a scene. "Really?" She asked. "Yes ma'am" he leans in closer. She shrinks back a bit cause Thrax is just unusually warm, "Um, can i ask you your name again?" Thrax stands her back and sits her down in a chair, "Why baby, you didnt catch it the first time?" "Um..yea, just wanna see if i got it right. I don't really feel so good.." He leans in ridiculously close, "Big Daddy Thrax is gonna make this alll go away" She attempts to scream but Thrax kisses her. "That was fun baby, we should do it again sometime." He strolls away leaving her in the chair passed out, passes the bar Rose and Ozzy where at and grabs Ozzy's drinks, "Lets blow the scene" Rose notices Thrax's swagger and tells he done did something, "Thrax whatd you do?" "Had to put a honey in her place." He walks out the door feeling quite pleased with himself. Ozzy was a little puzzled, "Woa woa wait a minute, Thrax wheres that girl you were dancing with?" "She got a little tired and sat down" "You just left her there?" "Aint my progative baby" he gets in the car. Um, Thrax how about you drive? Me and Officer have been drinking." "HIM? DRIVE? HE AINT WRECKIN MY BABY UH UH!" Ozzy was really crazy about his car. "Oh relax, hes a good driver.. i think" "Yeaaa, move over baby, Big Daddy Thrax gots the wheel" he zooms off cray cray fast. "WOOOAA! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!" Ozzy said being jerked around the car. "Did i say good driver? I meant HELL ON WHEELS! WOO!" "THRAAAAAAAX SLOOOOOW DOOOOOOOOOOWN!" Ozzy screamed holding on to the dash board. "We already at home." Thrax said as if he did nothing wrong. Ozzy looked around, "Oh thank Frank.." "Well it was nice hanging with ya Thrax but i got stuff to do in the morning" Rose gots out the car to get into her car. "Bye baby, its been fun" "Wait! Rose!" Ozzy ran up to her, "When..will i see you again?" Roses cheeks heat up again, "You might Officer. You might." She gets into her car and drives off. Ozzy gets the house keys out and walks into the house, glancing every so often at Roses car driving down the road. Thrax notices, "Weeellll, looky here. Jones gots a bit of a crush" "What? I do NOT!" "Save your breath baby, i KNOW all." He walked into his room, "You going to bed?" "um.. in a little bit." He saw the time and its like 1 or 2 in the morning. "Good thing i dont have to work tomorrow, pfft, I know ALL! Damn virus dont know spit. I dont like Rose, i got Leah." He checked his phone and sees a message from Leah.

"Hey! Ozzy! I hope your having a good time solving this case. How about i come out tomorrow to see you. Say..3 ish? You know, i miss you alot. Dont be having crazy girls in your house lol just kidding well see you later :3"

Ozzy groaned and rubs his chin, "Aw Leah girl, what? Damn.." He flops back on his bed, "I get to see my girlfriend later. Woppee" he said unjoyfully. "Rose aint coming over today" Thrax said lleaning against the door eating a jello cup. "What? No no, i aint into Rose" "Keep tellling yourself that and you might believe it." "I meant Leaaahh" ,Ohhhh, she a fine tenderoni aint she?" Ozzy popped up on his bed, "Yo, Virus dont talk about Leah that way." "Oh yea? And what a little cell like you gonna do about it?" "Ugh, i dont have time for this. Get out" "Fine, hope you tell Rose your cheating on her" he walks out. "NO, I DONT LIKE ROSE LIKE THAT! Ugh, i dont need to explain myself to you. Might as well sleep." He slept till like 2 o clock.


	5. Living with Big Daddy Chapter 5

Ozzy woke up and rubbed his eye, "what time is it. OH SPIT OH SPIT LEAH!" He gets up gets a shower, brushes his teeth combs his hair, shaves and races down stairs.

~DOORBELL~

Thrax opens the door but flinches away from the light cause he was slightly hung over, "And uh, who are you?" "Leah.. Leah Estrogen" she introduced herself. He lowers his sunglasses to get a look at her, ~remembers when Ozzy came into his room that one morning, "Well HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII Babeh. Come on in, take a seat." "Well thank you. Is Ozzy here? This is the adress right? You his room mate" Thrax glances her over, "yes, yes, and you could say that. Hes probably still sleeping, he was out all night with this girl" Leah's eyes widen, "Girl? Oh.. i see..have i..seen you somewhere before? you seem familiar" "Well, if we did id remeber someone like you", he flashes her a smile. "NOOOOO!" Ozzy hollers as he falls down the stairs. Leah rushed to be, "OZZY! Are you ok?" "Nice fall baby" Thrax commented. Ozzy gets up and dusts himself off, "Oh hey Leah." He glares at Thrax while he gives her a hug. "Hey, whats going on" "Well you know, nothing mu-" he sees Thrax all up in their conversation, "um, lets move this to my room." "Oh, ok. Oh, Nice to meet you..uh uh..Ozzys roomate." Ozzy rolls his eyes and leads her to his room. "Nice place you got here" Leah commented looking around. "Thanks, so uh whats up with you? anythings changed?" "Well, no no, everythings good. A few stomach aches, and some indegestion. Minor stuff. You? Meet any..uh new people?" "Well, making the most of things. Made uh, a couple of friends. The case is going well. Me and Drix has built a border around the community to protect the houses, sneaky lil bastards." "I see...so hows your room mate?" "Oh hes ok. No problems." "Oh.. i really missed you." She rested her hand on his leg. "I missed you too." He looked her in le eyes and kisses her and falls back on the bed.

Ozzy was in t shirt and boxers while Leah was in her under shirt and her skirt still making out on the bed. Thrax kicked down the door. Ozzy screamed. "OH MY GOD!" Leah cried trying to cover herself. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT!" Ozzy shouted. Thrax said noncholantly, "you left the stove on baby." Leah looked at Ozzy, "baby?" "No no not like that he calls everyone that. I didnt leave the stove on, you probably did. Besides im a little busy here" "Busy? oh am i interrupting something baby?" "Baby?" Leah asked again. "Just get out! Im with my girlfriend!" Thrax acted confused, "Girlfriend? You have a girlfriend?" He fakes this sad look, "But but, i thought it wasnt like that" "Osmosis whats he talking about?" Leah said freaking out a little. "What? No! He-" Thrax continued, "I thought we had something." "Osmosis!" "Thrax what the hell are you talking about!" "You dont remember? The other night?" He looks in Leah's direction, "He doesnt remember the other night!" "Ozzy, whats going on!" Leah cried. "Leah, Leah, Leah baby baby it aint like this" " I thought that night MEANT something to you, I-i GAVE myself to you, and now you dont remeber! Im shocked! im truly shocked! I thought that night was speciallll!" Thrax kept up his little act. "NAW NAW NAW LEAH BABY! NO HES JOKING!" "Oh hell, now he thinks its a joke! If it was a joke why didnt we use a condom!" He fakes a year for good measure. "OSMOSIS JONES!? No. no! I'm out, im going home", she grabs her things and races towards the door. "Leah baby no!" He pushes Thrax and races after her. Thrax stood in the doorway laughing holding his sides. "No! no! Get away from me!" Leah warned as she got in her car and zooms away. " Leah! Girl! Hey! HEEEY! AWWWW SPIIIT" he turns and glares into the doorway and sees Thrax laughing, "THRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAX!" He storms in the house and gets all up in Thrax's face. "Can I help you baby?" Ozzy socked him in the face HARD. " Thrax rubbed his cheek, "now you know not to come in my room." Ozzy growls and punches again, and tackles him. "Woa woa baby, what is this?" "YOU FUCK UP EVERYTHING! YOU MADE LEAH THINK IM A HOMOCELLUAL FAGGOT!" "well the way your on top of me isnt exactly helping the situation baby" Ozzy got even madder and punches him in the face 3 times. "hey hey hey, Jones", catches the 3rd punch and throws him off him, "Calm down, besides that Estrogen chick aint nothing, you can find another girl in a heart beat" Ozzy glares at him then, tackles Thrax again and they start fighting. Leah crept in because she forgot her purse and sees Ozzy on top of Thrax ready to throw another punch but from her position looked waaaay different. They stopped fighting and looked at her. "Leah! Oh, um this isnt what it looks like." Ozzy tried to explain again. "So its true.. " she had tears in her eyes and ran out of the house peeling out of the driveway. Ozzy watched her leave,"Damnit!" He threw another punch at Thrax and runs after her, "LEAH WAIT! I CA-can explain.." He watched her car peel out and screech down the street. "Leah..", tears starting to well up in his eyes. "Spit." He wiped them away before he walked back into the house. "Is everything ok? Is there any thing else i can fuck up?" Ozzy pushes past him to get to his room, "shut up" he mumbled. He laid down curling up in the blankets they were on.


	6. Living with Big Daddy Chapter 6

Thrax peeked into Ozzys doorway, "Wow..this is...serious" Thrax didnt know what this was! he was actually...concerned for Ozzy. HAS HE GONE MENTAL?~ *le sigh* What have i done, he sighs as he retreats back to his room. Ozzy was pacing around his room leaving Leah voicemails. "Hey it's me again, look he was just playing, it's was a joke he didn't mean anything by it, please forgive me and-" the voicemail cut through, "THE SUBSCRIBERS CELL BOX IS FULL PLEASE TRY AGAIN LATER." Ozzy threw his phone in frustration. "It took so long" he thought to himself, "it took almost Frank dying for her to like me..now she's gone" Thrax peeks in the doorway, "Jones." Ozzy just grunted in response. "You hungry? He asked. Ozzy just grunted again and rolled around in the covers. "Well fine, starve" he left to make dinner for himself. Ozzy didn't feel like eating. He just wanted to curl up in a ball and die. Well not die, but he was just really sad. Thrax out the dishes away. "Well he doesn't have to eat but he needs something to drink. "Aye Jones?" Ozzy just stared at him. "I got you something to drink, I don't need you dying in here." He hands him a glass of water and a bottle of bile. Ozzy just looked at him. "I might not know how you two felt about each other but this might make you feel better." "Why are you being so nice to me?" " I don't know, but I can't have you in here all miserable..even if it's at the hands of myself." Ozzy snatched the bile from him and took a swig. "You know, Rose called" Ozzy just looked at him. "Yea she wanted to hang out some time." "I don't wanna go" Ozzy said. "Well..when your hungry there's a plate downstairs for you" he left going back to clean the kitchen. Ozzy looked at the door and sighed, "Thrax". Thrax walked through the house and it felt empty. He didn't want to admit it but he began to like the little cell, he wasn't a complete bother anymore. He might not be buddy buddy with him because after all he stopped him from his record and almost killed him, but overall he was a good person. Thrax sat down with a drink, "735 virus years on this earth and you still mess things up. When will you learn.." He rubbed his face and laid down on the couch.

It was 6 AM and Ozzy trudged out of his room wearing pants, a dirty wife beater and his police jacket crookedly. Thrax had slept on the couch and heard Ozzy get up. "Jones?" "Huh? Oh hey." Ozzy replied. "I know only women apologize but I'm really so-WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU!" Ozzy hasn't moved or eaten in a day or 2. He was all pale and droopy, a serious 5 o clock shadow, and crazy bags under his eyes. Ozzy squints at him. "Oz- I mean Jones, you look awful!" "Thanks" Ozzy replied grabbing a piece or bread and headed towards the door. "You can't just eat a slice of bread, and you aren't going out like that, take a day off or at least tell them you're coming late" "Thanks for your concern but I'm a grown man, I can take care of myself" he left. "Fine, go out there at rot for all I care" he grumbled.

Later that day the house phone rings. "Yo" Thrax answered. "Are you Osmosis's room mate?" "Who's asking?" "Well Jones has come into work and just laid on the floor all day. His shift was over 3 hours ago but he's still laying there staring into space. We might need you to come get him" the chief informed him. Thrax sighed and replied, "fine. I'm on my way." He hung up, grabbed his keys and headed towards the door when he passed the hall mirror. "I can't go out there like this" he takes off his coat, undoes his dreads and puts it in a ponytail. He throws on some sunglasses and kept his left hand close to him to hide his claw. He even changed his voice to an actual person. He drove down to the station, "where is he?" Some of his co workers pointed to a desk he was laying in front of. "Thanks" he scoops him up and hauls him over his shoulder. Ozzy was mumbling something incoherently about Leah. Thrax stopped in front of the chiefs desk, "he might need a few days, he's really..sick." The chief just waved them off. Thrax walks towards his car, "alright, daddy's got ya" he threw him I the back seat. When they got home he tried to let Ozzy walk his own but he just fell into a puddle. Thrax sighed and dragged Ozzy into the house and rolled his eyes. He just looked him over at his limp lifeless form. "OSMOSIS JONES" Thrax barked at him. "Leeaaahhhhh" Ozzy groaned. "YOU WANT LEAH?" "Leeeaahhh?" "THEN BE A MAN AND GET HER!" "Thrax drove Leah away" Thrax stood him up against a wall, "OS *slap* MOS *slap* IS *slap*" Ozzy wasn't fazed, "Thrax made Leah think Ozzy gay. Ozzy not gay, Ozzy wanna cuddle. Ozzy want Leah" Thrax sighed and went to the kitchen and got the biggest bottle of bile they had. "Drink this" Thrax ordered as he shoved it down Ozzys throat. Ozzy just choked and gagged. Thrax got like 2 inches away from his face. "You listen to me and you listen good. You want her? Go get her. If she doesn't want you then you're too good for her. You don't need her, if this is how she's gonna be. Look I'm sorry ok? I don't do this much but I'm sorry. If I would've known you'd end up like a sad nut sack I wouldn't have done it. Do you really want Leah?" "Yeeesss" Ozzy groaned. "Do you NEED Leah?" "Yeeeeessss" Ozzys voice cracked a bit. "WELL GET YOUR PITIFUL ASS UP AND-" Ozzy didn't feel right. He was all sad and lonely, and the way Thrax was talking to him moved something in him, so he kissed him :3 "JONES GET OFF OF ME!" He threw Ozzy off. "Don't leave me Leah!" "What the hell!" He wiped his mouth and spat. Ozzy started walking towards him, "Leeaaahhh" "I AINT YO LEAH, SNAP OUT OF IT!" "Ozzy not gay, Ozzy promise" "I don't got time for this!" He hauled Ozzy into his room and threw him on the bed and locked the door. All the while Ozzy was holding on to his neck screaming for Leah.

"What is Ozzy doing in Thrax room?" Ozzy asked looking around. "This is for you're own good" Thrax slashed Ozzys chest with one of his claws. Ozzy let out a blood curdling scream, "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!" "WRONG WITH ME? YOU THE ONE ROLLING ON THE FLOOR AT WORK!" "YOU MESSED UP MY RELATIONSHIP THATS WRONG WITH YOU!" "YOUR THE ONE THAT KISSED ME!" Ozzy paused for a second, "I...what?" Thrax just stared at him. "Really?" Thrax narrowed his eyes. Ozzy sat up on the bed and rubbed his forehead, "oh Frank." Thrax sat by him, "you aren't gonna lay one on me again are you?" "Why? Do you want me to faggot?" Thrax rolled his eyes and got up to leave. "Thrax?" "What." "Can you get me something to eat?" Thrax sighed, "sure baby" "and Thrax?" "What." "Thank you" Thrax started for the door again, "no problem". Ozzy stopped him again, "oh and Thrax?" "Yes what is it!?" "I'm sorry." Thrax's face dropped a little. "No I'm sorry" he left for the kitchen. "Woa, boy what have you got yourself into. The cell was so messed up he started rootin for the other team. Sure your not a straight shooter yourself but, how could one prank go this far?" He started to make Ozzy a sandwhich. "Wait a minute... What the hell am i doing making sandwhiches for this fool? I aint got time for this" he started walking back towards his room. "But wait...i did make him loose his girl.. I got something for him." He kicks down his door, "GET YA ASS UP WE GOING OUT!" "Out? Wheres my sandwhich?" "I ate it, come on get ya best slacks out. That Leah girl is gonna wish she never left your side" he rakes back his hair and started to take off his shirt to start changing. Ozzy just sat on the bed staring at his feet. "You can grit out now" Thrax said glancing at him. "But I don't want to be alone" Ozzy mumbled. Thrax stopped midway with his shirt, "what do you mean?" He was all muffled from the shirt. "No no, not THAT way you perv. I just..everyone around me leaves. I dont want you to think im going all mental. But i dont want you to leave me either." clearly from all his abandonnedment in life. Thrax struggled to get out of his shirt. "Well..we're friends right?" Ozzy asked. Thrax finally got out of his shirt, "more or less" "when or if I leave..well still hang out..right?" Thrax say down and rubbed his eyes, "Baby..you stopped me from reaching my ultimate goal, so ill never be 100 with you. But other than that, your a okay guy. These past weeks with you have been-" at that moment the doorbell rang.

Thrax signed and got up to answer it. Rose was outside waiting. Thrax opened the door still shirtless, "sup, why are you here? I thought we weren't gonna meet with Tar till later." Rose looked at him wide eyed. Even though being friends with him for year she hasn't seen him like this. She wasn't attracted to him, just a little shocked. "Oh uhh..I just thought I'd..uh.." Thrax rolled his eyes, "females. Come in then" "Geez why is it always hot in this joint?" "I'll tell you what I told Jones, don't like it? Strip" "Mind if I get some water?" "Knock yourself out" he said as he sat on the counter, "hey can I ask you something?" "Sure, what's on your mind?" "Do you...like Jones?" "What? Officer? Hess nice kid but uh.." "I can bread you like a book baby. Well he's single now I rather not get into that, but he's..really out of it right now." "Oh that's bad, what's wrong with him?" "Hes so shooken up, he doesnt even want me to leave the room." He started pacing and rambling, "And i didnt mean it for them to break up, and i tried to get him to get her back, but he kissed me and-" "Woa woa woa, back that gravy train up he what?" Thrax kept rambling just letting anything fly out of his mouth, "HE KISSED ME, AND THAT SAD PART IS, I DIDNT ENTIRELY HATE IT AND" he gasped aware of what he just said. "spit." Rose tood there entirely wide eyed till her eyes nearly popped out of her head and looked at her cup of water. ... She threw the water on him. "What the hell is wrong with you!" Thrax exclaimed. "Me?! Do you have any idea what you just said?" "I KNOW I KNOW I just didnt think itd get like this?!" He groaned and sat back on the counter. Rose sighed, "Thrax...what happend happend." She sat on the counter with him, "Cant change dat now can ya? Youve learned from your mistakes havent ya?" "Yea..i guess" "Just relax and let things take its course, im sure Officer in there has already forgotten about it. He didnt mean it, he didnt mean for it to mean anything." Thrax looked for a towel to wipe himself off, "Well.. i guess your right.." "I am right.." "Who said?" "Are your eyes green?" "Yes" "Then im right. and besides everyone has," she let her eyes wonder while talking unknowingly, "weak moments" "I aint weak" "Your not, but everyone as those...sculpted..toned..thick..traps, and pecks..and..uhhhhh" Thrax rolled his eyes and smiled, "Females.." Hethrew the towel he was using at her and walked towards his room, "You can wait out here if you want." Rose chunked the towel back at him but it hit the floor before it got to him, "Will do." Thrax started walking to his room mumbling, "Females these days, act like they aint seen a real man in there life." He smiled and shook his head, "Hehehe, females." He opened his door, "Yo Jones, you still in here?" Ozzy called from his own room, "nah, I'm in here" Thrax stood in Ozzys doorway, "well get dressed, I have something for you" "I guess" he started undressing. "WOA WOA YOU COULD WAIT TILL IM OUT OF THE ROOM HUH" "You could look away, no ones asking you to look" Rose stood there behind them, "Does anyone where a shirt in in this house?" Ozzys eyes widened, "ROSE! I uh..." "Save it Officer, your not the first topless thing ive seen today." She walked into the living room. "Not the first topl-" Thrax shrugged and went to his room.

He got his best trench coat and attempted to iron it but his claw kept getting in the way so he just heated up his claw and like, burned it straight. Rose walked into his room silently, "Yo" Thrax got startled and fired up his claw ready to slash anything. "Woa, woa big daddy chill out heh?" Thrax was only wearing his pants "ironing" his shirt and jacket, cause hes just spiffy like that :) "What are you doing in here?" "What? cant talk to a friend?" "Im not dressed" "Remember when we were kids and our parents made us bathe together?" "what?" "It aint no different, all thats changed is you worked out and i got these girls" she smiled and poked at her boob. Thrax cracked a smile, "Pfft, what ever. What do you want?" "Well.. You know Jones right?" Thrax rolled his eyes, "Ive been living with him for almost a month, he lives down the hall from me and practically made out with the kid, yea i know him." "Shuddup, Well..hes a really cool kid and i think-" "You like him" "Whad? na na, i didnt say that. I would just...probably like to know him better." She stood up and helped Thrax iron his shirt, "He just broke up with his girl and im pretty sure he wouldnt wanna be surrounded by testosterone lest you want a recap of what happened." She giggled. "Shut up, of course i dont." She continued ironing,"Well, maybe...i could hang out with him..like..alone." Thrax's eyes widened the narrowed, "Weeeell Rose wants to play cops and robbers with Jones doesnt she?" Rose started to blush, "What? No!" "Oh yes you do, you wanna play with his night stick and turn on his flash light!" He nudged her arm laughing. "NO WAY!" "You want him to use his handcuffs and tell you, you have the right to remain silent!" "NO! Wait...what?" "Cause id be in the other room baby HAHAHAHAH!" "Ugh!" She pushed past Thrax. He caught her by the arm. "Wait wait.. are you..serious?" "About what?" "about us bathing together when we were little! HAHAHAHA!" "Oh shut up!" "Of course at that age i didnt have these," he flexed his muscles. Ozzy had been listening outside the door. "Rose?" Rose examined Thrax's body, "impressive, well at that age I didn't have these!" She started to lift up her shirt. "NO NO NO NO" Thrax exclaimed putting his hands up. "I thought so. But please, dont breath a word from this to Jones." He hears Ozzy outside the door and smiled, leaning down to get eye level with her, "Oh baby your word is save with me." "Thanks. "No problem, i suggest you leave now or leave with your face redder than your hair" She put her hands on her hips challengingly, "Oh really? What makes you think that?" "Hmph, your choice warden. Besides i gotta a few words for you" "Shoot."

"Well, remember when-" he removed his pants and goes over to his closet to get another pair, "when i told you when Jones, kissed me, and that i didnt entirely hate it?" Ozzy was still outside listening. "He what?" He whispered. "Yea what about it?" Rose asked. "Well..its been rolling around in my brain all day. And remeber when we went to Carpal Tunnel?" "Yea?" "And you remeber that guy that crossed us?" "Yes, yes, what are you getting at? Whats with all these questions?" "...Do you think im..gay?" Her eyes widened. "...Well..no. Id never think that. Besides, youve been hooking up with girls havent you?" "Yea, not recently. Ive been keeping Jones in line and stuff." "Well, how about when we go out tonight how about you bring a lil honey home?" Thrax turned to her in surprise, "You actually WANT me too?" "What? A person cant get laid in this house anymore?" He chuckled, "true, should we even be talking about this?" "Ive seen every side of you, this is no wierder than that night senior year when you got plastered and resulted in us dating for a while." He rubbed the back of his neck, "Oh...yea.." "Besides, your like a brother to me; so theres nothing about you i dont already know" "Oh really?" "Your 735 in virus years, your last name is Roja, and freshman year you had a crush on your math teacher. Your middle name is Spanish for Deathly Disease. When you were 16 you accidently burned down your kitchen. Your first kiss was actually with me under the swings in 6th grade, you have a thing for dark haired chicks, You have a thing for fire that borders on the erotic , you named your claw "baby" and on our 7 date, you nearly burned a hold into my parents couch." "HEY, hey. im 734 in virus years, get it right. and yes, Mrs. Sally (salmonella) what a hot piece of ass. Dont remind me" "you havent changed a bit...you can put your pants on." "What?" He looked down and saw he was in his underwear, "Oh, yea." He put on his pants slowly to avoid ripping them with his claws. In the process he could feel Rose staring at him. "Uh,, can i help you?" He asked. "What? Huh, i was just..cooking..dinner." "Theres not even a stove in here." "Well, it sure feels like it. Must you be so hot?" Thrax raised a brow. " No no! not like that! I meant- ugh, your impossible..mind if I take my sweat shirt off" "Be my guest" he picked up his shirt and starts putting it on gets stuck again. Rose sighed at how pitiful he was and offered to go help, "I dont see how you function" Ozzy was about to leave from the door until he heard heavy breathing. Rose was struggling with Thrax to get his shirt on, "Just move your arm..no...then move that one...ugh, Thrax your so retarded..." "Hey, i cant help my well endowed appendeges get in the way baby" "Ugh, here just take it all the way off and start over." Ozzy whispered, "What the hell are they doing in there?" "Well move your ass and i will" Thrax told Rose. "Ugh, just give it to me" Rose sighed. "Ugh, here get on the bed so your above me." "Why is it so big?" Rose whined referring to his shirt size. "Hey i cant help that" Ozzy started getting weirded out. Rose struggled to pull off his shirt and falls back on the bed. "Ok, just sit on it and ill take care of it" "Oh no, you already got it in that far" "Is it on all the way?" "No just gotta get it over" she struggles to put it over Thrax's head. "I aint got time for this," he pushed Rose off him and pulled his head through the shirt, "See was that so hard?" She llooked at him in suprise at how he just pushed her off him so easily, "Jeez its thick" "I work out, pass me my coat would you?" Rose was breathing a little hard from fighting the shirt on Thrax as she passed it to him. "Clearly. Hey Imma call Tar, he shouldnt be too far away." "Aight, go tell Jones were ready" he straightens his coat. "Your such a pretty boy" she commented as she walked out to find Ozzy.

"Yo, Jones were almost ready." She stops at his door way, "Yo, you got saline in your ears? lets goo" Ozzy walked over to her and looked her up and down, "Well, sounds like you and Thrax had a good time" "Oh it wasnt that good, he was really thick and forced himself in it." Ozzy gave her a look. "What? NO! hahaha, i was helping him put on his shirt. He kept getting tangled in it. So um..." She walked into his room and sat on the end of the bed, "What are you doing next week. i thought we'd hang out. You know without spit for brains in there..like as friends." "Oh..uh.. I dont think im doing anything. Thrax told the cheif to give me a few paid personal days, so i guess im free. Well, what do you wanna do?" "We can go see a movie if you want.. or you know lunch" "Lunch sounds good..Um so what are we doing tonight? Thrax said he has something for me." "Knowing him it could be anything. Welp, you ready to go?" Ozzy grabbed his wallet and badge, "Yea" Rose thought about what Thrax said about them playing "cops and robbers" and blushes. Ozzy looked back at her, "You okay?" "Hm? Oh..um yea im straight. Lets go.."


End file.
